Episode 10: Books or Looks?

I restrained myself last week.

 7^th March 2013 was World Book Day, but I waited.

I waited in order to give everyone a fresh slap in the chops with the wonders of literary genius.

I waited, but with a plan, to wait until a week later when you may have ‘forgotten’ to pick up that book you bought or ‘forgotten’ to read that new novel someone lent to you or maybe you even ‘forgot’ to go and sign up at the library?

NEVER FEAR! I am here to remind you to take that trip to the library, have a browse on Amazon or maybe even purchase the sequel to the book you decided to read last Thursday, all because of the encouragement provided from World Book Day.

People should be encouraged to follow a more book filled life. Books have always been a part of my life, as my mummy likes to tell people about my childhood; ‘Ruthie would just sit there in the corner with her wee book, no trouble at all’. Thanks mummy, so I’ve been a total geek my entire life then? She just kills any social credibility I may have mustered. But it was, and still is, true;

Here we have le bookcase bottom right, these shelves are dedicated to books I read for pleasure, academic books and textbooks etc. have another bookcase, on the top is my sausage dog book bookmark (see episode 7 for explanation) and the bottom left shows my little bookie beauties all lined up and waiting for my literary consumption, like a book to do list on the top shelf, yet to be explored.
It makes me happy just thinking about sitting down and reading them all.

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
~Jane Austen

I love listening to people reasoning out why they don’t read;

1.       I don’t have time to read. Do you not have time to eat, have a bath, travel to work or go to bed? Unlikely.

2.       I can’t afford books. Library?

3.       I have no space to put them. Although it isn’t my personal preferred method – eReader?

4.       I don’t like books. Well see you in hell blasphemer.

Saying you don’t like ANY books is an extremely loaded claim as you are implying that you have read every book and didn’t enjoy a single sentence. Have you read every book in the world?

No you haven’t, and your hypothesis on not liking ANY books is therefore null and void. It’s also very narrow-minded, like saying I don’t like ANY fruit because you didn’t like a plum you had once when you were sixteen.

Everyone likes something, unless you’re Eeyore, and in fact even he likes eating thistles. So you see Eeyore might enjoy reading a nice book about the best thistle species for summer and where to find them?

‘Having time’ to read is also an easily solved issue, most people these days spend their evenings watching TV. Mind-numbing, thought burning, intelligence annihilating TV. For HOURS on end. Everything in moderation, there’s nothing wrong with catching up with some of your favourite programmes and enjoying cuddling up with a movie. But just think on the fact that you burn more calories sleeping than watching TV. That is how much of nothingness TV is. Your brain is more active sleeping and you aren’t even conscious.

The benefits of reading;

·         It makes you smarter. Obviously! Not only are you keeping your brain active and improving your memory but you are gathering more information whether that’s learning real facts or dissecting moral dilemmas.

·         Reading improves your vocabulary, grammar and spelling which also benefits your own creativity and writing skills.

·         It’s a stress buster. I find this exceptionally potent myself, which is why I very often delve into fiction. Escaping from reality makes it much easier to step back and deal with issues.

·         It’s fun! You know what you could read which is regularly updated with interesting short reads? A blog ;).

The benefits of reading with a cup of tea;

·         Above list plus you also now have a nice cup of tea.

The benefits of reading with a cup of tea and biscuits;

·         Now you have tea AND 2 milk chocolate digestives. Win for life already and you haven’t even opened the book yet! It’s all about preparation, settle down somewhere quiet and comfortable and prepare to enjoy yourself.

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.”
~ C.S. Lewis

As highlighted in the movie Matilda by her somewhat simple-minded mother, Mrs Wormwood, some girls are led to believe you have to set your life down a path based on either books or looks. As if being academic means you couldn’t possibly groom yourself.

I mean sometimes you stay up late to just finish the end of the chapter, and then just the next chapter and then the next, and just a few more pages... and you know what? There’s not that much left to just finish the book! You probably look like you’ve suffered from a lifetime of insomnia the next morning because you were too tired to get up and brush your hair but wasn’t it satisfying finding out what happened to Harry and Voldemort??

Less of your old fashioned opinions Mrs Wormwood, smart women are sexy! Even with bags under their eyes...

 Everybody has their place of solace, a thing you do just for you that relaxes and refreshes and lets you escape problems and worries. Books do that for me,

and sometimes there’s even a snuggly sausage dog hiding between the pillows and blankets on your reading chair!

I have my book, my sausage dog, fluffy blankets, a cup of tea and 2 biscuits. If the fiancé comes around with a crème egg now I’ll just have to die because my life will have already hit its peak.

 

A few of my own recommendations for Geeks to get started;

 For a little Geek;

Tony Robinson’s Weird World of Wonders: Funny Inventions – Tony Robinson and Del Thorpe

For a Chic Geek;

How to Walk in High Heels: The Girl’s Guide to Everything – Camilla Morton

For a History Geek;

Fall of Giants – Ken Follett

For a Fantasy Geek;

The Eye of the World – Robert Jordan

Episode 7: A Sausage Dog's Love

My own significant other of the Canis lupus familiaris variety is here for her cameo appearance;

This is sausage face. Her face is not the sausage feature after which she is named but is merely the face of the attached body which is distinctly sausage like. Her official title is Belle-Feline but has other aliases such as sneaky, sausage face, sausage roll, belle the smell, creepy sneak and weasel features.

Generally everything she does is sneaky due to her weasel like nature. She enjoys scrounging for the tiniest of scraps with all of her efforts. And absolutely loves whatever it is you have.

Miniature Daschunds have been bred to have these distinctive features as it better enables them to hunt badgers down badger holes. Belle has recently developed a newer adaptation into converting these inbred skills into ‘bin hunting’. Distinctly more rewarding and less dangerous for ones sneaky face;

I am sure many people have come home to such things if not worse. So why do we even keep pets?

“Dogs have important jobs, like barking when the doorbell rings, but cats have no function in a house whatsoever.”
~ W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog's Purpose

There must be advantageous reasons why humans keep members of another species for an extended period of time purely for entertainment. Apart from a few inter-species friendships developed by animals in zoos, there is no conclusive evidence of this happening among any other animals in nature.

Here are a few contenders in the debate;

Religious – Keeping pets isn’t a modern phenomenon, as early as 3500BC animals were kept domestically by the ancient Egyptians. Dogs were revered as a symbol of the Jackal god Anubis. Cats were also worshipped religiously; they were esteemed as demi-gods and were property of the divine pharaoh.

Practicality – Moving through the ages it can be considered almost instinct to use animals for doing things we cannot do ourselves. For example, horses have a use in work for being used to pull carts for transportation of people and goods. Cats are also useful for controlling rodent populations.

There is also the obvious need of keeping animals like cattle, sheep, chickens and pigs for foodstuffs such as meat, eggs and milk.

Even in modern times animals have a practical arm in the everyday lives of many people like sheep dogs, guide dogs and sniffer dogs.

Status Symbol – Pets can be considered almost as a supreme ornament. Not very long ago only the wealthy could afford to have an extra mouth to feed. In developing countries now this is still obvious, people who can’t afford it do not introduce a furry member of the family for fun.

Exotic pets are also a status symbol of the good condition of your bank balance. Queen Elizabeth I had a Guinea pig, you didn’t just go and buy one in Pet World then, she was probably the owner of the only guinea pig in Britain at the time.

Although it isn’t entirely common now, in history, hunting for sport was a favourite past time of the upper classes. For this purpose they kept dogs, horses and of course game specifically for their entertainment.

Birds also have the X Factor for entertainment, having a delightful rowdy canary would be enjoyable before the invention of the radio!

Of course none of this really answers why 48% of homes in Britain, 20% of Japanese and 63% of American and Australian homes have at least one pet. People aren’t picking up all that poop for nothing!

“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.”
~ Jerry Seinfeld

Psychological – Although anyone who has ever even seen one knows animals have feelings, humans are the only animals to have such a massive range of emotions linked to our consciousness.

Our desire to own and care for these creatures must be rooted in our emotions. It’s an absolutely simplistic answer but is just a simple fact, we have a pet because we love them and they love us back. Animals have shifted from food to friend.

No human on this earth is as unfailingly excited to see me when I come home as my Belly Belle.

Interestingly, animals respond better to sounds ending in ‘eeee’, probably explains why when I shout “BELLE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” down the hall she comes bounding down like a prize horse in the Grand National.

Finally,

Having a pet around gives us a living presence that makes us feel comforted and wanted, they give all their time and affection without any ulterior motive, all for only the very basics of life in return. Also, dogs like to wag their tails and not their mouths which is an advantage over many human companions.  

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.”

~ Anatole France

 I will try to remind myself of this as I clear up the remainder of the bin contents from the floor...

You are nobody until somebody a sausage dog loves you.

Episode 6: Rainbow Roses and Genetic Proposals

You can’t get blue roses.

You can however get these;

Rainbow Roses – These pictures aren’t modified, I know because I took them. These are in fact my very own valentine’s flowers from my one and only (see there’s me with them in the bottom left with my uber shoulder padded jacked, I was having a power day in work *power shoulders*).

Rainbow Roses I have decided are the most beautiful flowering fantastic-ness I’ve ever had in my possession, if every colour symbolises its own range of emotions surely they are the flowery embodiment of a relationship?

These of course do not occur naturally, obviously or by now there would be so many planted in my garden you would see it from space. This is a human manipulation of plant biology with a dash of chemistry.

I finished my exclamations of astonishment, gratitude and thanks with multiple kisses and swiftly started my technical examination of these beauties, they clearly weren’t sprayed and they certainly didn’t grow that way so, what? Did a magician trap a My Little Pony with its rainbow tail in these flowers of mine?

This is how it’s done, Simplicity at its finest, turns out no My Little Ponies were harmed;

·         Obviously you cannot use a coloured rose, they have their own pigments and enzymes and would just stay that colour or turn brown. (You know all colours together make brown. Think about it.)You have to start with a white specimen. The Venezuela Rose is a ‘Hybrid Tea, cream rose’ which shows up all the colours perfectly.

·         The rose is cut at full bloom diagonally in order to expose the greatest area possible for water uptake by exposing a higher number of xylem vessels.

·          The cut flower is then ‘Stem-dyed’. 4 beakers of Red, Blue, Green and Yellow water soluble dyes are prepared separately. The flower stem is slit vertically into 4 pieces and 1 end placed in each beaker.

·         Wait a few hours...

·         And by the beauty of transpiration, ta dah!

 

Blue Roses – I’m afraid I reeled you in with a porky pie just now. Blue roses are no longer condemned to the realms of legend with unicorns and leprechauns, but have been created in much the same way as my rainbow numbers for decades now.

However, this century, a feat of genetic engineering has created something much better.

We can’t make unicorns they said. We can’t make leprechauns they said. But instead they proposed to create the eternal symbol of mystery – the Blue Rose.

Culturally they have been associated with hope against unattainable love.

Molecular geneticists proposed to create the Royal of Roses by altering its genetic makeup – DNA.

Roses simply do not grow in blue colours as they lack a gene to create true blue pigment - Delphinidin. So the gene for the colour had to be stolen from the Pansy and the gene for the enzyme DFR was taken from the Iris. The enzyme is required to complete the delphinidin synthesis reaction.

Additionally to this the gene for the flower’s own pigment synthesis needed to be switched off. Cue RNAi, one of the most powerful biological tools discovered in the past 25 years. RNAi is as specific as the DNA sequence and can directly target specific genes to act as a switch in production of the protein created from that gene. In this case, an RNAi sequence was created to effectively silence the DFR gene that occurred naturally in the rose, creating the red colour and letting the new DFR gene which varied slightly to work instead.

Below you can see my rainbow rose, bottom left depicts a blue rose created using the same principle with dye, but above that is a photograph of a genetically engineered blue rose.

Truth is it’s not ACTUALLY blue. It’s a sort of mauve/lavender colour, this is because the RNAi didn’t completely block the rose’s natural colour synthesis and instead added a little red tinge to the blue.

But still its bluer than any other roses, and seeing as it grows this way it can answer ‘why yes, I’m a natural blue’ ;) to all those admirers.

Inspiration - My encounter with my own flowery creatures inspired my tentative steps into the floral and colourful realm of workwear;

I don't think any ponies were harmed in the making of this skirt either. Although I can say nothing for my workmates retinas.