Sunday 31 March 2013

Episode 11: The Truth About Hangovers

You may or may not have noticed I’ve been AWOL for quite a few days. Let me discuss with you something that has been close to my heart during that time.

“hang·o·ver
n.
1. Unpleasant physical effects following the heavy use of alcohol.
2. A letdown, as after a period of excitement.
3. A vestige; a holdover: hangovers from pre-war legislation.”

Clearly I am referring to point 1. Now I’m not divulging whether the hangover which was the muse for this post was my own or if I was a witness to another’s grief. Whoever the owner of that particular hangover was though, I'm sure you will be glad to know, has made a full recovery.

Let’s look at that definition though.
“Unpleasant”- understatement of the century
“Physical” – you forgot psychologically harrowing and mentally destructive
“Effects” – symptoms of abuse would be more descriptive here
“Heavy Use” – now that really depends upon your age/sex/body/dinner/mental state
Here is my broader definition – The mini death experienced from 2-24 hours after drinking alcohol without having your dinner.
We all know the ‘rules’. Like the breaking of the school rules leads to detention, breaking of the drinking rules leads to hangover central.


The Rules
1.       Don’t mix grape and grain. Or ‘Beer after liquor makes you sicker’. Beer or Wine plus spirits = no.
 
2.       Eatin’ is Cheatin’ – Eating is cheating except what you are actually cheating is yourself out of a hangover. Cheat away and laugh at the apocalyptic zombies you have the pleasure of being friends with the next day. The greasier the better (the food, not your friends) as this will line your stomach better and slow down alcohol absorption.
 
3.       Every glass of water taken the night before saves you drinking two the next day. Hydration is KEY.
The actual rules s designated by UK government are; 21 units per week for men, including 2 alcohol free days and no more than 4 units in one day. For women it’s 14 units per week, no more than 3 a day and 2 free days per week.
Horrify yourself about the details of units here.
Recent studies have shown massive variations in guidelines though, even within Europe. Some countries make no differentiation between men and women and debate whether alcohol free days are required. I think my rules above are far more helpful, I’ll consider submitting them as internationally agreed consumption guidelines.
 

The Facts
1.       The Hypothalamus is a sneakily small part of the brain; its size is not relative to its role. It’s like the chief housekeeper of the body and drives Homeostasis (regulating and maintaining the internal conditions e.g. temperature,). Alcohol seriously upsets its delicate balance and this is displayed by increased blood pressure, hunger, thirst and urge to pee. Body and temperature and heart rate decrease.
 
2.       The pituitary gland, controlled by the hypothalamus, secretes ADH (anti-diuretic hormone). ADH acts on the kidneys to reabsorb water. Alcohol consumption leads to the inhibition of ADH which in turn leads to decreased absorption of water in the kidneys meaning you pee more often and become severely dehydrated. This is the main culprit for the hangover.

3.       Alcohol is broken down by an enzyme called Alcohol dehydrogenase into Acetaldehyde. A variant in the gene for this enzyme, found commonly in Asian people, leads to increased metabolism of alcohol. However many also have a variant in the gene for acetaldehyde dehydrogenase which breaks the acetaldehyde down which means that although they don’t feel as much of the ‘buzz’ from alcohol consumption, they have increased side effects due to toxic build up. This is called Alcohol Flush Reaction.

4.       Do not take paracetemol (acetaminophen). Paracetamol and ethanol are detoxified by the same pathway in your liver, the cytochrome P450 oxygenase pathway. Taking them both together can lead to critical shutdown by overloading the pathway. This dramatically increases chances liver cirrhosis, failure and death.

5.       The Hippocampus is a part of the brain involved in memory. Alcohol reaching here leads to the age old question ‘What happened last night?.

The Cure
Here it is!

 The scientifically proven antidote to all hangovers!

1.       Water

2.       H2O

3.       Liquid dihydrogen monoxide (that’s just water too babes)
 was going to do a whole section on The Myths, but it’s much easier to say everything except water is a myth. Raw eggs, black coffee, having another drink etc only help either by delivering you their water content or delaying the effects.

It’s not really all that surprising, water is the basis for life on earth, and in this case can revive you from apparent death. I apologise for not giving you a matrix style pill that reverses the night’s damage and has you dancing around doing the housework and singing to mice Cinderella style. Or did you do that last night?

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as Hydrogen and Oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
~Dave Barry


Option 1 - If you have become unexpectedly inebriated the only way to avoid a hangover is to continue consuming alcohol until you die.
Option 2 - Option 1 is not a real option and I strongly recommend putting the jaegerbomb down, drinking some lucozade and going to bed. Followed upon awakening by a full Ulster fry and approximately an Olympic sized pool amount of water.
Option 3 – Stay sober? Or just follow up on your progress by paying better heed to The Rules next time and attempt to “drink responsibly”. https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/

So really the truth about all hangovers is, they’re like paper cuts. You feel like you’re going to die and yet receive not one button of sympathy.  

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